Whom Should I Tell My Struggles?

By Adeyinka 'Grandson' Shoyemi, How it Began:                                           The Face of 'Pastor' Michae...

By Adeyinka 'Grandson' Shoyemi,

How it Began:

                                         The Face of 'Pastor' Michael Ola Omowa.

There is nothing easier to control than a person who trust you. They place their hope in your hands and respect you without question. What may be worrisome, however, is the betrayal that you don’t see, which is hidden within the white void of truth.

Please receive my apologies for invading your privacy with this true-life story; I can’t stop thinking about the need for you to read the account.

The betrayal from Michael Ola Omowa, the convener of Insight Illumination Ministries, after contacting him to help resolve the marital problem with my wife, Rebecca, is heart breaking. I thought I had seen and heard it all until I read his text messages correspondence with Rebecca. Rather than acting impulsively, I restrained myself, but looked at things objectively to take informed decision. This write up, nonetheless, expressed my feelings on betrayal from a trusted second-cousin: Ola.

The Trouble, Divorce, and Fallout:

I filed for a divorce from Rebecca because of unreasonable behaviors. One of our divorce conditions is the joint custody of our children, the existing arrangement for residence and contact as per our children worked well for three years.

Earlier, Rebecca had told me she was tired, stressed out, and wanted us to resolve differences and come back together. I agreed on the condition that we sign a postnuptial agreement that gives me the full custody of the children in accordance with marriage practice based on the Yoruba’s customs and traditions.

While plans were afoot, Rebecca accused me of outside affair with another woman, which is not true, though, we are still divorce. She left her house with the children; she refused me access to our children, my mother contacted Ola, my second cousin to help resolve the matter.

On The Road and Joint Custody Trouble:

I went to meet Ola at Peckham; this was my first time of ever meeting him, he had arranged for this meeting between Rebecca and myself. Rebecca did not attend. He promised to talk to her to allow me access to my children.

After waiting on Ola for four days to talk to Rebecca without result, I went to pick my children from school as per the shared custody agreement.
Already, Rebecca was at their school on this day, she refused me picking the children as per arranged, when it was my turn to have the children. The School Head Teacher called the Police; they looked at my paperwork and let the children leave with me.

Rebecca called me the following day to bring the children because they were to attend a birthday party. Unknown to me, she had filed an assault allegation to the Police. As soon as I arrived at agreed address and a Police officer arrested me; I was granted bail the following day with no condition, however, bail was cancelled a month later as the Police had no evidence of any assault so they took no further action on the matter.

I went to the Family Court, made an application for an enforceable order to compel and to enforce the shared custody arrangement we both had at Mediation Center three years earlier; court fixed a date for hearing my application. Rebecca obtained a non-molestation order to prevent me from coming to her house to collect our children.

While these processes were on course, Ola received update, but I did not suspect Ola on any foul play, neither thought he was encouraging Rebecca not to release my children to me.
Rebecca had told Ola that I wanted to bring our children into home with my girlfriend, which wasn’t the case; ironically, this same Ola, who is living with a woman that had five children from previous marriages, who is happy to be called stepfather, but telling me to forget about my own children. Later, I heard he was a run-away father.

After two months of access denial from Rebecca, and no-help from Ola; I sent message to Rebecca’s uncle, Folahan Akinyele Folarin, telling him, my patience is running out-the earlier Rebecca obey to joint custody order, the better.

Five Months In The Prison:

Unfortunately, this-help-me-talk-to-Rebecca-message was used against me by Rebecca, her uncle, and Ola, as a threatened document. My mother intervened, told me apologize, which I did.
Rebecca promised to let me have the children on an agreed date, but she did not bring the children to school.
I called Ola and explained the situation to him, he contacted Rebecca; I sent money to her for transportation to bring the kids to school the following day.

Again, the children did not attend school the following day; Rebecca said she wanted them to change their school; I told her that we both share parental responsibility so we would have to make this decision together or the court would have to decide.

I called Ola, told him that I would go to Police if Rebecca continued to disregard our shared custody agreement. Ola agreed to my decision.
I went as promised; I showed the officers all the relevant paperwork and asked a Police escort to go with me to Rebecca’s house to pick my children. I was told to wait at the counter for a Police vehicle, I waited half an hour; shortly, I was called into a room by a Police officer, who took all my details, thereafter, arrested me without reason.

I was later accused of threat to kill because of my text message I sent to Rebecca’s uncle. Rebecca had submitted the text message to the Police as an excuse for me not to pick the children. From Police Station, I called Ola, he promised to speak with Rebecca to withdraw threat case.
Unfortunately, nothing was done, Police filed charges against me before a Magistrates Court judge and remanded in prison.

For two months, I was in prison; nevertheless, I was able to speak to Ola, but he kept deceiving me about the ongoing discussion with Rebecca to withdraw her complaint from the Police. He assured me of help, assistance, and release within few days, but when the help did not come, I called again. To my surprise, Ola warned me not to call again, as I was becoming too disturbing that I was disturbing.
After three months in prison, I received a visitor; he came as my friends’ representative. He said friends were worried about Ola’s vicious gossip, lies about me when they met with him to find out the truth about my predicament.

Interestingly, another friend came to see me in prison, who shared similar thoughts about the Ola’s hypocrisy, envy, and jealous of me. Ola’s betrayal puts me in a situation where I needed to do what was best for me by ending friendship with him, immediately.
Meanwhile, I was languishing in prison, when Court saw my plight, Police’s uncooperative attitude; deny accessing documentary evidence to help my case, the trial judge requested my attorney to apply for bail. A bail application filed and granted.

When I came out of prison, I saw a letter written by Ola questioning my mental health; he alleged that I am mentally unstable, a ploy, he devised to help Rebecca make my case get worse.
My attorney and I rejected the letter, argued in court against Rebecca being cross-examined as a witness during my trial because she was not the recipient of my text message, but her uncle.
In the case of the uncle, we obtained his criminal records for identify theft, credit card fraud and immigration offences, to discredit him as a witness.

A month after I was granted bail, my trial started and lasted four days. I was found not guilty.
Immediately, I went to the Family Court to ask that my children be returned to their school in London, the Judge did not honor my request. I wasn’t pleased with this as I believe my children would be better off living in England and having equal access to both parents.

Out From Prison and Joint Custody Battle:

Nevertheless, Rebecca and I agreed that we go back to the Family Court for a variation of the final order that was made in order to allow the children to be returned to England.
A few days later, contact between myself and children was arranged by Rebecca. This was ten months after I had last seen the children. It was during this contact arrangement Ola’s secret affair with Rebecca became known.

While Rebecca was taken to the children, she gave her mobile phone to me, shortly thereafter, Ola sent her a text message. The content of the message was shocking at best. He had told her in the text message that I am a distraction in her life and that she should do away with me.

Fortunately, I read other text messages he had sent to Rebecca, in one of those text messages, he advised Rebecca to ignore my mother’s and siblings’ telephone calls. Remember, this happened when in detention. In even another text message and in specific terms, he was coaching Rebecca on how to avoid eye contact with me whenever we meet in court.

In more disturbing text message, Ola says he was solidly behind Rebecca in all her actions and assured her that if she doesn’t do away with me that she is in for a great shock as I have no feeling for any human being and I just want to use her.
I found out from another text message that Ola was the one who had asked Rebecca to withdraw my children from their school in London and moved them to another school outside England whilst he was pretending to me and my mother that he was helping to resolve the situation.
Ola admitted to me in person that he was the one who told Rebecca to list his second wife’s house in Peckham as the only contact place for me to visit my children.

It was after reading Ola’s text messages to Rebecca that I realised that he is an unfulfilled man pushed by envy. He is unhappy at my success. I have a good job with amazing think tank; I live in Chelsea one of the highbrow in United Kingdom and my children going to school in Chelsea. I am accomplished authors with three books published, several journal contributions.

Initially, I should not have gone to Ola for advice, a man who abandoned his wife and children in Nigeria, became a fugitive in England after committing a bank fraud in Nigeria and re-married, a mother of five children after pressurizing the lady into causing the deportation of her husband by using systematic and often forcibly means. He lied to everyone that it was God who ordered him to go and marry the woman. However, God did not speak to him. He married the woman for immigration purposes.

Ola is a betrayal and an irresponsible human being. It is not unnatural that he hasn’t been able to adequately raise his biological children. He refused the five children of his second wife their fatherly love and attention too.

He has continued to use the information he had received from me when I first met him to brainwash Rebecca. For example, I had confided in him of my intention to go back to Nigeria and formally divorced Rebecca there so that she may not be able to claim part of my wealth anywhere in the world. He used this inside information to suggest to Rebecca that I will never forgive her and that she is in for a great shock, brainwashing her into thinking that he is a real man of God and speaking based on God’s revelations to him.

He has succeeded thus far to induce Rebecca to give up basic attitudes and to accept contrasting ideas from him using the Bible as part of his systematic way of brainwashing. He uses this means also for vulnerable and susceptible women who are mostly his clients. He is into church ministration, not called by God or humanity, but as a source of income.

After I had discovered his atrocities against me and forwarded the text messages he had sent to Rebecca to my parents and siblings in Nigeria and elsewhere, he was all out for war, cursing me using the Yoruba’s Orisas, including Ogun and Sango to threatening my life. He proceeded further to try and enlist the support of my girlfriend to fight me. He requested for her friendship on Facebook, but the lady, already aware of his atrocities, abused him profusely and thereafter blocked him.

He started out with misinformation alleging he was my benefactor, yet, I have only met him about twice, never requested any help from him once, until my mother suggested I contacted him to help resolve my problem with Rebecca. Through his interventions, the problem escalated with serious consequences. 

Conclusion: Whom Should I Tell My Struggles?

No one was created to navigate this world on his or her own. No matter the pain and sorrow of past relationships, everyone should risk inviting someone into their lives and sharing their problems with someone. I therefore did not regret trying to get help to resolve my problem with Rebecca.
But this brings up a key question: Whom should I tell of my struggles?
I have learnt through Ola’s betrayal and irresponsible behavior that when it comes to the private issues of life, I would recommend only telling your problems to a close friend and one counsellor. The friend can help you with the details of life and the counsellor can help your marriage.

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Welcome to Dare Lasisi's blog!: Whom Should I Tell My Struggles?
Whom Should I Tell My Struggles?
Welcome to Dare Lasisi's blog!
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