FIANCÉ NEEDED FOR IMMEDIATE HIRE! GO IN PEACE, ROSELINE.

By  Roseline Udoh ‎ Cc: All male Ranters. FIANCÉ NEEDED FOR IMMEDIATE HIRE! I am visiting my mum for a few days and as much as I love her t...


By Roseline Udoh


Cc: All male Ranters.

FIANCÉ NEEDED FOR IMMEDIATE HIRE!

I am visiting my mum for a few days and as much as I love her to bits, my heart is skipping... Cos I know she will soon bring up the 'when are you getting married' conversation.
In other to forestall that, I urgently need to hire a fiance for 3 days to keep her happy.
Ranter must meet the following requirements and/or be ready to perform the following duties:

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling
1. Ability to back up your every other comments with scriptures off the top of your hat. My mama na pastor wife so you got to be able to represent!
2. Be willing to ask for second and third helping if she offers you food. (My mum doesn't joke with her cooking and neither should you. Men that eat like birds should not bother applying)
3. Compliment her every 5 minutes on what a great job she did raising me up in the way of the Lord. 😁(Please dont forget to mention that we attend church services together every Sunday and week days.)
4. The ability to drop proverbs will be an advantage("As our elders used to say, the ant that climbs the palm tree bla bla bla") My mum loves proverbs.
5. Be willing to change your phone ringtone to 'Akanchawa' or any other gospel artist song. Please..if your ringtone is 'one corner', don't bother applying.
6. Be willing to make an impromptu phone call to your own mother in my mum's presence telling your mum how much you love her. (my mum needs to see that you are caring)
7. Be ready to listen to the long and excruciating story of how I put her through labour pains on a hot Wednesday afternoon for several long hours(trust me, that story must come up. Just have an interested look on your face and keep nodding and shaking your head where appropriate)
8. Be willing to ask for malt or soft drink when she asks what you will drink. Please..., DO NOT say orijin!Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing, shoes and outdoor
9. Be ready to keep exclaiming every 20minutes about how she looks too young to be my mum and could pass for my elder sister (that line works every time!)
10. Finally...whatever you do, do NOT forget to insist on closing prayers before you leave the house. It would be an added advantage if you could throw in some tongues)

Kindly send in your applications in the comments section below. Inbox messages will NOT be considered. Applicants with dreadlocks, cornrows and beard gang are disqualified(my mama dey fear Boko Haram)

Thank you for helping a desperate ranter in need. #sigh#LifeOfAMatureSingle #SweetMother



Roseline Udoh‎ passed away a few days ago in Nigeria.

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#IstandWithBolaTinubu,1,#LindaIkeji,2,#Oshadipe,2,$28,1,10 facts from yester years.,1,1960BET,3,2011 ELECTION IN NIGERIA,1,2019 election.,1,5 Signs To Spot non-Ogbanje Girlfriend.,1,500,1,9jaSAFE Award,1,A VISIT TO A DENTIST IN GLASGOW,1,Abbey Paseda,1,AbikeDabiri,2,Abiola Ajimobi.,1,Abubakar Adam Ibrahim,1,Abuna Yemata Guh,1,Abundant Nigeria Renewal Party,1,AdebayoShittu,2,Adeboye,1,Adenike Khadijat Oluboyo.,1,Adeola Soetan.,2,ADMISSION SCANDAL ROCKS FGC IJANIKIN LAGOS.,1,ADP,1,Advanced Political Climatology,1,Advanced Political Climatology APC 307,1,African Development Bank Internship Program 2019,1,African journalism.,2,African restaurant in Scotland.,1,AfroGrams Ilesa,1,AhmadiyyaCentenary,1,AhmadiyyaMuslimCommunityGlasgow,3,Aisha DaniaOgieriakhi,1,AishaBuhari,2,AjibikeAbike,1,Ajimobi,3,Akinwunmi Ambode.,2,Akogun Olugbenga Omole,1,Akon,1,Akute-Alagbole,1,Alao Akala.,1,Alao Fadda.,1,Alhaji Ibrahim Adesina Adeyemi,3,ALISTAIR DARLING,1,Alistair Soyode,1,Alpha Beta,1,AlphaZero,1,Ambassador George Adesola Oguntade,1,Amber Rudd,1,Ambode,1,Amitolu Shittu.,1,AMOPE,1,An open letter to Late Ken Saro-Wiwa,1,AN OPEN LETTER TO MADAM LADITO,1,AN OPEN LETTER TO PROFESSOR ADAM ADEBAYO LASISI,1,Andela.,1,AnnaJames,1,ANRP,2,Anthony Joshua.,2,APC,9,APC 3017,1,APC KADUNA,1,APC307,2,ARIK AIR,1,Armedrobbery,1,Article50.,1,Arts exhibitions in Lagos NIGERIA.Terra Kulture.,1,ASO ROCK,1,ASSASSINATION,1,AsylumSeekers,1,AtikuAbubakar,2,Austin Okai,1,Autobiography.,1,Awolowo.,1,AyodeleFayose,1,BabaAyangba,1,Babalaje of Okofaji,1,Babatunde Gbadamosi,1,Babatunde Jose,1,Badoo cult,1,Basketmouth,1,Bayelsa,1,BDSF,1,Beko Ransome-Kuti,1,Benjamin Olowodola,1,BenTV,1,Biafra,1,Biafra.,1,Bike accident,1,Bill Cosby,1,BirthdayBonanza,1,BishopOyedepo,1,BisiAlimi,1,BitCoin,1,Black Ladder,1,Blogging,2,BLUE BABY SUPPORT INITIATIVE,2,Bobby Fischer,1,BobDylan,1,BobMarley,1,BOG,2,BOG Whistle-Blower,1,Boko Haram,4,BokoHaram,1,Bolanle Sobowale,1,BolaTinubu,4,Boris Johnson,1,Boss Gida Mustapha.,1,Bosun Emmanuel,1,Boundary of friendship,1,Boxing career,1,Brain-Dead President,1,Brain-dead racists,1,Breaking News in Chemistry,1,Breaking The Wall Of Silence,1,Brexit,4,Brexit in AFRICA,1,Bros Kongi @ 83,1,BROS KONGI @ 84,1,Buchi Emecheta.,1,Buhari,10,Buhari.,1,BuhariBiography,2,Buharists,1,Cambridge Analytica,2,CANADA,2,CarAccident,1,Carlos Takam,1,CBN,1,CCNA,1,Channels TV,1,Charles Mulli,1,Chatham House.,1,Chelsea Football Club,1,Chess,7,Chess in Nigeria,3,Chibokschoolgirls,2,Chief ABC,1,Chief Imam of Lagos,1,ChildAbuse,3,ChildBrideMarriage,2,China,1,China and Africans.,1,Chinua Achebe,1,Chris Grayling,1,CHRIST EMBASSY CHURCH,1,Christianity,2,Christians,1,CISCO,1,colon cancer.,1,Come To Nigeria magazine.,1,Comedian,1,Commonwealth countries.,1,Commonwealth media internship,2,ComputerVillage.,1,Congo,1,Corruption,1,CovenantUniversity,1,Critics,1,Cultism,1,CyberCrime,2,Cyril Ramaphosa,1,D.O Fagunwa,1,Daddy G.O of Nigerian Blogosphere.,1,Damian Green,1,Dangote,1,Daniel Aramide,1,Danku,1,Dare Lasisi,2,Darren Osborne,1,DAVID CAMERON,1,DavidMark,1,DAYO OLOMU FOUNDATION UK,1,Deborah Quickpen,1,DeleAlake,1,DELETING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK.,1,DEPARTMENT OF GEOGRAPHY,1,Depression,1,Dino Melaye.,1,DNA TEST,2,Domestic Violence in Nigeria,1,Don Vaney,1,Don't disturb the King,1,DonaldTrump,3,Dotun Ajegbile,3,Dotun Oladipupo,1,DR BARU.,1,Dr Frederick Fasehun,1,Dr Joe Okei-Odumakin,1,Dr Raphael James,1,Dr.Joe Okei-Odumakin,1,DSS,1,DSTV,1,Dubai Chess Opens 2019,1,Ebola,2,Echoes of Jagunmólú,1,Edinburgh Kidnappers,1,Edinburgh Zoo,1,EFCC,5,Egunmogaji,1,Egunmogaji Blogger.,1,EkitiState,1,El-Rufai,1,Embargo on Cyber-begging.,1,Emir of Okuta,1,EmirKatsina,1,Emmanuel Chidubem,1,Eniola Ajao,1,ENVY,1,ERHUVWU BEAUTY OBIREH,1,Ese Oruru,1,Estonia.,1,Et tu Oyegun,1,Ethiopia,1,Ethiopian Airlines.,1,ETISALAT,2,EVANS,1,Fabiano Caruana,1,Facebook,1,Facebook scam,1,Falz,1,Famine,1,FaniKayode,1,FatlasImpressions,1,February 17,1,FELA ANIKULAPO-KUTI,2,FELA KUTI,3,FELABRATION IN LONDON.,1,Fellowships for students,1,Femi Falana,1,FemiAdesina,1,Festus Keyamo,1,FIDE,1,FidelCastro,2,First Class ABIYAMO,1,Flashback to dark days,1,Focus on Disability Charity,1,FOMWAN,1,football.,1,For Pius Adesanmi,1,For Southern Kaduna,1,Frank Nweke Jr,1,Fraud,2,Fraud.,1,FRC,1,Free £10,1,FreeBOGNow.,2,FreePress,1,Fresh FM Ibadan,1,Fuji Music,1,Fulani herdsmen killings in NIGERIA.,1,FUNAAB,1,FUTA,1,Gani Fawehinmi Scholarships.,1,Gani Fawehinmi @ 80,1,GaniRad,1,GariumSulphate,1,Garri,1,GayWedding,1,GbengaDaniel,1,GEJ@60,1,George Weah,1,GetInvolvedNow,1,GHANA,1,Gina Miller,1,Glasgow,4,Glasgow Library,1,Glasgow Music concert,1,Glasgow stories.,1,GOCOP,1,Goje,1,GOK GBOSA,1,GoodluckJonathan,4,Google NIGERIA,1,Google.,2,GoogleCrackdown,1,GORDON BROWN,1,Grammy.,1,Green Card,2,Gun violence in London.,1,Guru Maharaji,1,HabibaIsa,1,Hajj 2018,1,Harvey Weinstein,1,HATE CRIME,1,Hate Speech,1,Health Matters,1,Hillary Clinton.,2,Holy King,1,Holy King of the rock,1,Homosexuality,1,Hugh Hefner,1,Human rights in Nigeria,1,Humanity,1,Humanside on chess board.,1,I hate Poetry.,1,IbadanTragedy,1,Ibikunle Amosun,1,ICTUniversity,1,Igbo Irunmale,1,Igbo Olodumare,1,IMF,1,IMPORTANT TIPS FOR DELETING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK.,1,INCREDIBLE JUNK STORIES FROM YESTER YEARS.,1,IndianGarri,1,Indyref2,1,InfoTech,2,Innoson Motors,1,Inside Molue,1,Internet fraud.,1,InternetOfThings,1,Inviterite,1,IPC102,1,iPhones,1,Iran.,1,Iriri Oyibo,1,ISHAYABAMAIYI,1,Islam,5,Islam in Nigeria.,1,Islam.,2,IT professionals.,1,IT.,1,Italy 26,1,James Bond.,1,James Ibori,3,Jen Miller.,1,Jenreviews,1,JimiAgbaje,2,Jimoh Ibrahim,1,Jo Cox,1,JohnPaden,2,JONATHAN,2,Journalism,1,Juju,1,June 12,1,June 12 struggles,1,JUNE 8.,1,Kaduna.,1,Kashamu,1,Kashamu Buruji.,1,KatsinaState,1,Kazu Ishiguro,1,KEMI ADEOSUN,2,Kemi Olunloyo,1,Ken Saro-Wiwa,1,Ken Saro-Wiwa Jr,1,Ken Saro-Wiwa.Shell BP,1,Kenya orphanages,1,Kidneys,1,KING OF ASO ROCK,1,Kudirat Abiola,1,Kufre Uwem,1,Kurdish People,1,Kwara state crimes.,1,Kwara state.,1,Lagos,3,Lagos Police,1,Lagos state,1,Lagos2015,1,LagosLife,1,Lasisi Oluboyo,1,LASTMA,1,Latin language,1,LAUTECH,1,Leicester,1,LEKAN FATODU,1,Lekki,1,LET'S SAY NO TO SUICIDE,2,Liberia,1,Libraries in Nigeria.,1,LindaIkeji,1,Literature,1,Liu Xiaobo,1,LIVING IN FOREIGN LAND IS NOT SO CHEAP,1,London sexual assault,1,London stories,1,London Terror Attack,1,LondonScandal,1,LOVE IN CANCUN,1,LTV,1,Lucky Oboh,2,Madam Ladito,1,Madness from Chatham House.,1,MagnusCarlsen,5,Mahfouz Adedimeji,1,Mama Gani Philosophy,1,Mama Gani.,2,Mama Taraba.,1,Mamoudou Gassama,1,Manchester Attack,1,Manchester Terrorism,1,Markaz Agege,1,MarkZuckerberg,2,Mary Magdalene,1,Maryam Mirzakhani,1,Mathematics Genius,1,Mayflower Ikenne.,1,MC OLUOMO,1,MDP,1,Me and my secret children.,1,Media,1,MedView Airline,1,MEET THE NIGERIAN PRINCESS OF CHESS,1,Meghan Markle,1,Mendel University.,1,Meningitis outbreak,1,MFM,1,MikeOmeri,1,military dictatorship,1,MindYourLanguage,1,Ministry of Health.,1,MKO Abiola.,1,MMM,2,Modern Democratic Party,1,Modiu Olaguro.,1,MOJI OLAIYA,1,MoneyLaundering,1,Monica Osagie.,1,Morgan Tsvangirai,1,Morocco,1,MPC LEKKI,1,MR ORIOLA,1,MSc Scholarship at Uppsala University,1,Mufti Menk,1,Muhammadu Buhari,4,Mully Children's Family,1,Muslims,1,My Burden,1,My first trip to London,1,My Golden moment,1,My Mother,1,MY NYSC EXPERIENCE IN NIGER STATE,1,My Pen,1,My Power,1,My Random London Yabis,1,My Telephone Rules,1,My Troubled childhood As A Schoolboy.,1,My World,1,MyStory,1,NAFDAC,1,Naija BBQ Glasgow,1,NASFAT UK&IRELAND,1,Nasir El-Rufai,3,National Conscience Party.,1,Naughty Professor,1,NCC,1,NDLEA,1,NICK CLEGG,1,Nicola Sturgeon,2,Niger Delta,1,Nigeria,24,Nigeria High Commission.,1,Nigeria Village Square,1,Nigeria.,6,Nigeria.Tourism,1,Nigerian airports,1,Nigerian boxer,1,Nigerian Community Scotland,1,Nigerian Journalism,1,Nigerian passports,1,Nigerian politics,1,Nigerian Property Market,1,NIGERIAN WOMEN,1,NigerianMuslims,1,NigerianPassport,1,Nigerians and Hypocrisy,1,Nigerians in Chinese prisons,1,Nigerians in Scotland.,2,NigerianWriters,1,NLNG Award,1,NnamdiKanu,2,NNPC,1,NOA,1,Nobel Peace Prize.,1,NobelPrize,1,NOKIA 3310,1,Nollywood,2,Northern Ireland,1,Nottinghill carnival,1,NTDC,2,NYSC,6,NYSC EXEMPTION CERTIFICATE.,1,OAU sex scandal,1,Obafemi Awolowo University.,1,Obama,1,ObasanjoHilltop,1,Offa armed robbery,2,Offa Tragedy,1,Ogoni,1,Ogoni 9.,2,Okey Ndibe,1,Olalekan Lawal.,3,Olatunji Adedeji Odusan,1,OLISA METUH,1,Olubadan,2,Oludare Buraimoh,1,Oluwafemi Balogun,1,OmoniyiIbietan,1,Omoyele Sowore,1,Omoyele Sowore Town Hall Meeting in London.,1,Ondo state,1,OnlinePublishers,1,Onukaba,1,Ooni,1,OPC.,1,Ope Bademosi.,1,OPEN LETTER TO OGA MADAM,1,Oracle of scammer,1,Oracle of the cyberworld,1,Oran Mor.,1,Orebro University Scholarships.,1,Osinbajo,1,OtunbaGbengaDaniel.AdebolaDaniel,1,Oyo State,2,OZUBULU MASSACRE,1,Paddypaddybet,2,Pastor Adeboye,1,Pastor Joshua Shonubi,1,Pastor Victor Ajisafe,1,PastorRabalago,1,PaternityCrisis,1,Paul Moore,1,PayingEvilWithKindness,1,PAYLATER APP.,1,PAYPAL DONATIONS.,1,PDP,4,PDP.,1,PDP.APC.,2,Pepper-soup joint Glasgow.,2,PERMISSION TO FORGE AHEAD.,1,phone hackers,1,Pius Adebola Adesanmi,1,Plagiarism,2,PLAGIARISTS ARE SHAMELESS THIEVES!,1,PLEURAL EFFUSION,1,Police,1,Politics,1,PowerOfBook,1,Prayer City.,1,PressFreedom,1,Primary school early start,1,Prince Adelaja Adeoye,1,Prince Harry,1,PrinceAdemola Adeniji-Adele,1,PrinceOfHope,1,Prof Adebayo Adedeji,1,Prof Richard Akindele,1,Professor ADAM.,1,Professor Adebayo Adedeji,1,Professor Kingsley Chiedu Moghalu,1,PROFESSOR ORIOLA,1,Professor Sulyman Agenyo AbdulKareem,1,ProfPaden,1,PSN,1,PTDF,1,Qatar,1,Queen's University Belfast,1,RAAAF,1,Racism in Glasgow,1,Ramadan,2,Rape,2,Rasheed Gbadamosi,1,REBRANDING MY BLOGGING,1,Recession,1,Redeemer's University,1,religions in Nigeria.,1,Reno Omokri,1,ReubenAbati,2,Revd.Mother Esther Abimbola Ajayi.,1,Rhoyale Priesthood Food & Groceries UK LTD.,1,Richard Akindele,2,Rilwan Adesoji,1,Rio Ferdinand,1,RiversOfBlood,1,Robert Mugabe,1,Roger Moore,1,Room56.,1,Rotimi Akeredolu,1,Rotimi Makinde,1,RotimiAmaechi,1,Royston Glasgow.,1,Rwanda,1,Sahara Reporters,1,Sajod Javid,1,Sallah,2,SallyMbanefo,2,Salute to the Garium Sulphate!,1,Sani Abacha,2,Saudi Arabia,1,Scholarships for African students.,2,Scholarships in SCOTLAND,1,Scholarships.,1,SCOTLAND,8,SCOTLAND LAFESTA,1,SCOTLAND.,1,Scotland. OpenDay 2017,1,Scotland's indyref2,1,Scottish inventors,1,Segun Adelugba,1,Segun Onibiyo,1,Senator Ademola Adeleke,1,Senator KAKA,1,Seun Kuti,1,SeunEgbegbe,2,SEX SCANDAL,1,ShamelessNaijaWomen,1,Sheikh Abdullah Adam El-Ilory,1,Sheikh Adam Abdulahi Al-Ilory,1,Sheikh Garuba Akinola Ibrahim,1,Sheikh Muhydeen Ajani Bello,1,Shreyas Royal,1,Sickle cell,1,Sierra Leone tragedy,1,Sikiru Ayinde Barrister,1,Silhouette of Conscience,1,SonnyOkosun.,1,South Africa,1,Southern Kaduna,2,Soyinka.Amaechi,1,Stamford Bridge.,1,Starvation.,1,Stay Healthy,1,Stella,4,Stephen Hawking,1,Stockfish,1,StrangeFacts,1,Suicide.,1,Sule Lamido,1,Sultan of African Satire,1,Super Falcons,1,SwedishAcademy,1,Syrian crisis,1,Tai Solarin,1,TaiSolarin,1,Talking Dolls,1,Terrorism,1,TERRORISM.,1,The difference between a resume and a CV?,1,THE FALL OF A KING,1,The Flying King,1,THE GHOST MARKET WOMAN,1,the haunted lady,2,The Haunted Lady.,2,The Monitor.,1,The Narrow Escape,1,THE POWER OF A CURSE,1,The Trial of Brother Jagunmolu,1,The Trial of Brother Jagunmolu.,1,The Unknown Thief,1,The Yale Young African Scholars Program 2019,1,TheRangerApp,2,Theresa May,1,TheresaMay.,6,This is Nigeria.,1,Tinubu,1,Titanic Museum Belfast,1,Tony Elumelu,1,Tony Ezimakor,1,TSTV,1,TuFace Idibia,1,Tunde Bakare,2,Turkey,1,TY Danjuma Foundation,1,Tyler Dooley.,1,UCH,1,UCL,1,UK GENERAL ELECTION,1,UK libraries,1,UK Politics,2,UK.,1,UKdeportation,1,UKPolitics,1,Ulster Museum.,1,Umaru YarAdua,1,UNILAG,2,UNILORIN,5,UniMaid,1,UniSambisa,1,University of Dundee,2,University of Glasgow.,1,University of Ilorin,2,University of Ilorin.Centre for Peace and Strategic Studies,1,University of Sambisa,1,University Of Stirling,2,University of Strathclyde,1,University of Tartu,1,UNKNOWN GUNMEN,1,UoS.,1,US Elections,1,US Lotto Jackpot,1,USA,1,UtakoMarketAbuja.,1,Victor Olabisi Onabanjo,1,Video Contest Scholarship,1,VP Yemi Osinbajo.,1,Wailing for the future,2,WailingWailers,2,Wande George,1,Wike.,1,Windrush scandal,1,Winnie Mandela,1,Wole Soyinka,8,Women Arise,1,World cup 2018 in Russia.,1,WTM,1,Xodus,1,Yahya Jammeh,1,Yemi OSINBAJO,2,Yinka Ayefele,1,Yinka Odumakin,1,Yinusa Owolabi Ramon,1,YPP.,1,Yusuf Buhari,2,Zahra Buhari.,1,Zambian cement,1,Zimbabwe,1,Zukabaga,1,Zulu Sofola.,1,
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Welcome to Dare Lasisi's blog!: FIANCÉ NEEDED FOR IMMEDIATE HIRE! GO IN PEACE, ROSELINE.
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