HOW MY CURIOSITY EARNED ME 2 HARD SLAPS IN LAGOS

By Dare Lasisi Please don't laugh at my true-life story.It happened to me many years ago in Lagos. I was working then as a newspap...

By Dare Lasisi

Please don't laugh at my true-life story.It happened to me many years ago in Lagos.

I was working then as a newspaper reporter in Lagos and my column(INSIDE MOLUE)was a weekly affair.I must look for what to write.

To get my stories or gist for the week.I must enter Molue(commercial bus in Lagos state)from Ikeja to Abule-Egba area at least twice per week.

Let me go straight to my story.I was warned to always mind my business in Lagos but on this particular day I refused to paddle my own canoe.

I boarded the Molue from 'Ikeja Along' bus stop(push me I push you style)going towards Abule-Egba axis.

I was so careful of pick-pockets and petty thieves at the bus stop acting as passengers or touts.
Lagos was the den of criminals then.

Can you still remember Fela's track of "44 sitting, 99 standing Suffering and Smiling' inside Lagos Molue?

I was unable to sit down but I stood up through out the journey.

Suddenly my eyes caught the sight of one tall broad-chested young man trying to use blade to cut the back of a woman also standing inside the bus.

The woman had a baby strapped to her back.
As this 'petty thief' was using razor blade to cut the hand bag,I could notice the baby weeping as if asking for breast milk.

My heart advised me to alert this woman to adjust the baby in order to disorganise the evil plot of this petty thief.

But another voice whispered to me to mind my own business.I was a bit confused on the next step to take.

As it was my 'destiny' to be rewarded with two heavy slaps on that fateful day.I broke protocol to alert this woman to move forward.

She asked me why.Before I could explain the whole story that I was actually doing my best to save her from being robbed.I saw two dirty slaps rocking my face.I saw rainbow.

My both eyes were red.I wept like a baby.I collapsed and somebody poured water on my head.
This guy knew I foiled his plot and quickly escaped out of the bus at the Iyana-Ipaja bus stop.

The woman later saw blade marks on her baby's leg and she thanked me for the whole drama.
From that day,I learnt a bitter lesson to always mind my business.Will anybody blame me for my kindness(or inverted stupidity?)

Let me refresh my memory about another Oshodi experience in mid-1990s.One young man approached me to ask if I was interested in buying a gold wrist-watch.

As if the guy was a mind-reader.I was planning to buy a wrist-watch that time.I told him I would love to buy the wrist-watch.He showed me the item.I was so fascinated to drop the money.
I asked him to give me the item and I would pay him in a corner.

He said he needed to assist me to wrap it well(my stupid mistake!)in an envelope.

This guy was so perfect that within split seconds he had swapped my wrist-watch with two coins and a stone.
As he handed over the item to me,he quickly dialogued with his legs and vanished into the thin air.
This guy had tricked me!I went into a corner to check my item and was so surprised on what I discovered.

I was so angry and I reported this guy to some friends living in Oshodi area. I described his look and body frame.

They knew him as a career criminal and armed robber.I did all my best to trace him and pretend to buy another wrist-watch again.I could not see him.I later learnt he was finally arrested and set on fire by angry mob in Mushin area of Lagos.

Do I need to shed any tears for him?Never.

*To Be Continued*

P.S : I wrote this Facebook update exactly 4 years ago today. Pardon my errors!